Grief has been called the club to which no one wants to belong. When we are in its inner circle, however, there are many gorgeous gifts we can share with one another there, including our vulnerability, honesty, experience, and hope.
To be reminded that we aren’t crazy and we aren’t alone is an invaluable gift we need at times, especially when walking with grief.
My friend, K.C., posted her beautiful story of she and her husband learning to grieve the death of their beloved dog with their children (shared in a recent blog post), on social media. She bravely admitted the challenge of trying to parent while grieving and grappling with how much is too much (or too little) to grieve around littles.
To be reminded that we aren’t crazy and we aren’t alone is an invaluable gift we need at times, especially when walking with grief.
My friend, K.C., posted her beautiful story of she and her husband learning to grieve the death of their beloved dog with their children (shared in a recent blog post), on social media. She bravely admitted the challenge of trying to parent while grieving and grappling with how much is too much (or too little) to grieve around littles.
Another amazing young mom, Alyssa Tinsley, commented on K.C.’s post with the following:
“I so understand this…my kids ask about their grandparents all the time and it brings me to my knees. I never realized how hard it would be to work through my feelings while not looking like a basket case and helping them work through theirs.
“I so understand this…my kids ask about their grandparents all the time and it brings me to my knees. I never realized how hard it would be to work through my feelings while not looking like a basket case and helping them work through theirs.
It is so difficult to ‘mom’ and grieve. You still have to do all the stuff and steer the ship. You often can’t fall apart because little eyes are watching. You didn’t mess up or do anything wrong, you were doing the best you could do and that’s all we can ask of ourselves…”
When I asked Alyssa’s permission to share her comment, she also graciously agreed:
“Absolutely! Feel free – I lost four grandparents between December 2015 and April of 2016 so grief has been a huge part of our lives lately.
It can be so difficult to ‘mom on’ to three little ones and try to work through things. I appreciate you reaching out and your kindness!”
Trying to “mom on” or continue to be partner, colleague, boss, friend, or any of our other roles can feel overwhelming when we are grieving. When we feel responsible for others, the temptation can be to squelch our emotions for others’ sake.
When I asked Alyssa’s permission to share her comment, she also graciously agreed:
“Absolutely! Feel free – I lost four grandparents between December 2015 and April of 2016 so grief has been a huge part of our lives lately.
It can be so difficult to ‘mom on’ to three little ones and try to work through things. I appreciate you reaching out and your kindness!”
Trying to “mom on” or continue to be partner, colleague, boss, friend, or any of our other roles can feel overwhelming when we are grieving. When we feel responsible for others, the temptation can be to squelch our emotions for others’ sake.
When we give ourselves permission to grieve, we give others permission, as well.
Is there any greater gift we can give one another, than the courage to face grief openly? We all need that safe space. May we each have it from those around us today, and offer it to others around us, as well.
Peace,
Carla
Learn more about my writings and resources about grief at hospicewhispers.com
Rev. Dr. Carla Cheatham spent years working in hospice and palliative care and is now a trainer, author, and consultant for professional caregivers around issues of presence, boundaries, self-care, compassion fatigue and resilience, healthy teams, ethics, and more. Learn more about her trainings at carlacheatham.com
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