Blog :: Hospice Whispers

How to Survive the Unsurvivable

Posted by Carla Cheatham

· February 6, 2020

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A few years ago, I watched my friend and fellow writer, Emma Skogstad, walk the journey of caring for and saying goodbye to her beloved during the way too early end of his life. Using her gift for words, she processed her jumble of emotions through her writing and shared it with their friends. She is ready to share those…

Walking Away When You Must, but Doing So Cleanly

Posted by Carla Cheatham

· May 16, 2019

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I’ve had a lot of conversations and messages in response to my post on Mother’s Day. It seems to have struck a chord with many, regarding various kinds of relationships, in a helpful, healing way. Given the work I do, that kind of self-disclosure and vulnerability is often taboo, and just stinking hard. I also always work to walk a…

When Loving Ourselves Means Loving From a Distance

Posted by Carla Cheatham

· May 9, 2019

· 2 Comments

Some of us have had to come to terms with days of celebration, like Mother’s Day, over the course of our lives. Loving a mother, or father, from an intentional distance is sometimes the most healthy, safe, and loving thing to do…and also the hardest. Many cast shame on such decisions, without knowing decades worth of stories that happened behind…

Giving Grief a Rest After the Holidays

Posted by Carla Cheatham

· January 7, 2019

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Before and during the holidays, we’re inundated with posts and articles suggesting ways to care for ourselves, and others, if—or more accurately when—grief from death or other loss makes the season far less than joyful and bright. Facing any day without the physical presence of someone we love can be painful; doing so when surrounded by traditions and togetherness can…

Remembering the Workers Who Care for Others in Trauma: The 1999 Texas A&M Bonfire Collapse

Posted by Carla Cheatham

· November 18, 2018

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In the early morning hours on November 18, 1999 I was doing the initial crisis debriefing for members of TAMECT, Texas A&M’s Emergency Care Team. They are students who volunteer to provide first response at Aggie games and events. Some of them have had no experience while others are seasoned EMTs and even paramedics. They were on site at stack…

Anna’s Story

Posted by Carla Cheatham

· August 7, 2018

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I first met Anna Fuller McCall a couple of years ago when I spoke at MD Anderson Cancer Center, where she serves as an RN. I’m grateful she agreed to share her thoughts and memories on the 30th anniversary of her beloved husband, Richard’s, death and the birth of their son the following month. I trust you will be as…

“We know she’s dead!”: Changing the Culture of Bereavement in Facilities

Posted by Carla Cheatham

· February 15, 2018

· 2 Comments

As a hospice chaplain, I worked at numerous care facilities over the years and presided over dozens of memorials inside them, with the family’s permission and/or input and participation. The staff who truly get it know how to mark these special occasions, for everyone’s sake. They arrange flowers and photos and music. They help all residents who wish…

Permission to Grieve: More on Parenting in Grief

Posted by Carla Cheatham

· February 1, 2018

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Grief has been called the club to which no one wants to belong. When we are in its inner circle, however, there are many gorgeous gifts we can share with one another there, including our vulnerability, honesty, experience, and hope.To be reminded that we aren’t crazy and we aren’t alone is an invaluable gift we need at times, especially when…

Grieving WITH Kids

Posted by Carla Cheatham

· May 31, 2017

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Grieving while still trying to uphold our many roles is beyond challenging. Often, parents find it particularly hard to help their children grieve while also doing so, themselves. But grieving as a family can be a beautiful thing, as my friend, K.C. Freeman Ray shared recently on her FB page. I share this with her gracious permission:Sometimes you win…

What We Need to Know About End of Life Rituals Part II: Planning Ahead

Posted by Carla Cheatham

· March 29, 2017

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What We Need to Know About End of Life Rituals Part II: Planning Ahead? End of life rituals are important, but they are also a mystery to many. In this series, I’ll share the art and science of funerals, memorials, etc. to help lay persons planning for their own, or their loved ones, and professionals seeking to guide them….

When Loving Ourselves Means Loving From a Distance

Remembering the Workers Who Care for Others in Trauma: The 1999 Texas A&M Bonfire Collapse

“We know she’s dead!”: Changing the Culture of Bereavement in Facilities

Permission to Grieve: More on Parenting in Grief

What We Need to Know About End of Life Rituals Part II: Planning Ahead

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